I have realized over the years that self reflection is key to self improvement and staying humble. But with that being said it also can cause harsh revelations that are often something I really do not want to know. I also have spent plenty of hours assisting friends with issues and helping them to gain perspective without judging them for whatever was going on in their lives or what choices they have made.
So a major self reflection for me is that I am the only one in control of what I want out of life and man do I want a lot. My biggest 'want' is to become the most healthy me that I have ever known. For someone who has battled with their weight for their entire life I had to start owning my contribution to this situation.
I have realized that I have been an emotional eater and drinker... this could be for good things, bad things, exciting times, scary times.... basically for every heightened emotion I ate or drank to mask or at least buffer the emotions. I had to do some real understanding as to how I became this person who had control in every other area of her life but not here..... well the only thing that makes sense is how I was raised.
I have wonderful parents but showing emotions was not something we did growing up. We never said I love you, we were told not to cry and after bottling everything up an outlet was needed.
So I am not making excuses and so now it is time to gather myself and commit to dealing with my emotions and not investing them in food or drinks. So admitting it is huge but continually acknowledging it so that I do not continue to eat/drink in place of feeling or sharing my emotions is a constant battle but one I have committed to starting about 2 weeks ago in late July 2012.
The challenge is one and accepted! I can do this!
